[Grem] Fwd: Fw: BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT !

[György Paál]

    *Sign of the Times (outside a tunnel in England ):*

    *Due to current economic conditions, the light at the end of the
    tunnel has been turned off.*
    ---------------
    *These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K.
    Newspapers:*

    *FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.*
    *8 years old,*
    *Hateful little bastard.*
    *Bites!*

    *FREE PUPPIES*
    *1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.*

    *FREE PUPPIES.*
    *Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.*
    *Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.*

    *COWS, C A LVES: NEVER BRED.*
    *Also 1 gay bull for sale.*

    *JOINING NUDIST COLONY!*
    *Must sell washer and dryer ?100.*

    *WEDDING DRESS FOR S A LE .*
    *Worn once by mistake.*
    *Call Stephanie.*

    ***** And the WINNER is... *****

    *FOR SALE BY OWNER.*
    *Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.*
    *Excellent condition, ?200 or best offer. No longer needed, got
    married, wife knows everything.*

    *Statement of the Century and* *Thought from the Greatest Living
    Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.*

    *"If women are so perfect at multitasking,* h*ow come they can't
    have a headache and sex at the same time?"*

    *>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> *
    *Children Are Quick*
    *____________________________________*

    *TE A CHER: Why are you late?*
    *STUDENT: Class started before I got here.*
    *____________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
    floor?*
    *JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.*
    *__________________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'*
    *GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I- A -L'*
    *TE A CHER: No, that's wrong*
    *GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.*
    *(I Love this child)*
    *___________________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?*
    *DON A LD: H I J K L M N O.*
    *TE A CHER: What are you talking about?*
    *DON A LD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.*
    *__________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
    didn't have ten years ago.*
    *WINNIE: Me!*
    *__________________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?*
    *GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.*
    *_______________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with '* *I. '*
    *MILLIE: I is..*
    *TE A CHER: No, Millie..... A lways say, 'I am.'*
    *MILLIE: A ll right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'*
    *________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
    cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
    father didn't punish him?*
    *LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....*
    *______________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
    eating?*
    *SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.*
    *______________________________*
    *TE A CHER:*
    *Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
    brother's..*
    *Did you copy his?*
    *CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.*
    *(I want to adopt this kid!!!)*
    *___________________________________*
    *TE A CHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
    when people*__*are no longer interested?*
    *H A ROLD: A teacher*
    *__________________________________*
    *P A SS IT A ROUND A ND M A KE SOMEONE L A UGH*


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