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<p
class="ecxMsoNormal"> <span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: black;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Sign
of the Times
(outside a
tunnel in
England ):</span></b><br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Verdana','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: red;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Due to
current
economic
conditions,
the light at
the end of the
tunnel has
been turned
off.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'">--------------- </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: blue;
FONT-SIZE:
18pt">These
are classified
ads, which
were actually
placed in U.K.
Newspapers:</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">FREE
YORKSHIRE
TERRIER.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">8
years old,</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Hateful
little
bastard.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Bites!</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">FREE
PUPPIES</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">1/2
Cocker
Spaniel, 1/2
sneaky
neighbor's
dog.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">FREE
PUPPIES.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Mother
is a Kennel
Club
registered
German
Shepherd.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Father
is a Super
Dog, able to
leap tall
fences in a
single bound.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">COWS,
C A LVES:
NEVER BRED.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Also 1
gay bull for
sale.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">JOINING
NUDIST COLONY!</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Must
sell washer
and dryer
£100.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">WEDDING
DRESS FOR S A
LE .</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Worn
once by
mistake.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Call
Stephanie.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: red;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">****
And the WINNER
is... ****</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: red;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">FOR
SALE BY OWNER.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: red;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Complete
set of
Encyclopedia
Britannica, 45
volumes.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: red;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Excellent
condition,
£200 or best
offer. No
longer needed,
got married,
wife knows
everything.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Statement
of the Century
and</span></b> <b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Thought
from the
Greatest
Living
Scottish
Thinker--Billy
Connolly.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">"If
women are so
perfect at
multitasking,</span></b> h<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">ow
come they
can't have a
headache and
sex at the
same time?"</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> </span></b><br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Children
Are Quick</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">____________________________________</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Why are
you late?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">STUDENT:
Class started
before I got
here.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">____________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: John,
why are you
doing your
math
multiplication
on the floor?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">JOHN:
You told me to
do it without
using tables.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">__________________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Glenn,
how do you
spell
'crocodile?'</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">GLENN:
K-R-O-K-O-D-I-
A -L'</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: No,
that's wrong</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">GLENN:
Maybe it is
wrong, but you
asked me how I
spell it.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">(I
Love this
child)</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">___________________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Donald,
what is the
chemical
formula for
water?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">DON A
LD: H I J K L
M N O.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: What are
you talking
about?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">DON A
LD: Yesterday
you said it's
H to O.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">__________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Winnie,
name one
important
thing we have
today that we
didn't have
ten years ago.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">WINNIE:
Me!</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">__________________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Glen,
why do you
always get so
dirty?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">GLEN:
Well, I'm a
lot closer to
the ground
than you are.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">_______________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Millie,
give me a
sentence
starting with
'</span></b> <b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">I. '</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">MILLIE:
I is..</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: No,
Millie..... A
lways say, 'I
am.'</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">MILLIE:
A ll right...
'I am the
ninth letter
of the
alphabet.'</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: George
Washington not
only chopped
down his
father's
cherry tree,
but also
admitted it.
Now, Louie, do
you know why
his father
didn't punish
him?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">LOUIS:
Because George
still had the
axe in his
hand.....</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">______________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Now,
Simon , tell
me frankly, do
you say
prayers before
eating?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">SIMON:
No sir, I
don't have to,
my Mom is a
good cook.</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">______________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER:</span></b> <br>
<b
style="FONT-SIZE:
10pt"><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Clyde
, your
composition on
'My Dog' is
exactly the
same as your
brother's..</span></b><span
style="FONT-SIZE:
10pt"> </span><br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">Did
you copy his?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">CLYDE
: No, sir.
It's the same
dog.</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> <b><span style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">(I
want to adopt
this kid!!!)</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">___________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">TE A
CHER: Harold,
what do you
call a person
who keeps on
talking when
people</span></b><u><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR: black"> </span></u><b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">are no
longer
interested?</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">H A
ROLD: A
teacher</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">__________________________________</span></b> <br>
<b><span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Arial','sans-serif';
COLOR:
#002060;
FONT-SIZE:
13.5pt">P A SS
IT A ROUND A
ND M A KE
SOMEONE L A
UGH</span></b> <br>
<span
style="FONT-FAMILY:
'Tahoma','sans-serif'"> </span> </p>
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