<div dir="ltr"><span class="m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-post_date" title="2017-11-06">November 6, 2017</span>
<h1 class="m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-headline">Islamic Family Values</h1>
<span class="m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-post_author"><a href="http://www.crisismagazine.com/author/william-kilpatrick" target="_blank">William Kilpatrick</a><br><a href="http://www.crisismagazine.com/2017/islamic-family-values" target="_blank">http://www.crisismagazine.com/<wbr>2017/islamic-family-values</a><br></span> <img src="http://3m7ajlsrzj92lfd1hu16hu7vc.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Polygamous-Muslim-family-in-UK-660x350-1509948159.jpg" class="m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-attachment-post-featured m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-size-post-featured m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-wp-post-image" alt="" style="margin-right:0px" width="386" height="204"> <div class="m_822258199906857545m_3349623826186652502gmail-post_content">
<p><b>Just as it’s not a good idea</b> to read too much into
the cross tattooed on the bicep of the otherwise threatening biker at
the bar,<span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,255)"> it’s best not to read too much into the occasional concessions
toward Christianity we find in Islam.</span></p>
<p>For some Catholics, it seems to be enough to hear that, as <a href="http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_decl_19651028_nostra-aetate_en.html" rel="noopener" target="_blank"><i>Nostra Aetate</i></a>
tells us, Muslims “revere” Jesus and “honor” Mary. I can’t remember the
number of times that some hopeful Catholic has pointed out to me that
there’s a whole chapter named after Mary in the Koran, or that Mary is
mentioned more than any other women in that book. Supposedly, that
somehow compensates for <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>all the verses in the Koran that call for
crucifixions, beheadings, and amputations, and for the fact that
Christians who live in Muslim lands generally lead a precarious
existence.</b></span></p>
<p>In the grasping-for-straws department, one of the items most
frequently on display is the claim that Muslims have more or less the
same moral code that governs traditional Christians. For example, in <i>Nostra Aetate</i>
we read not only that Muslims honor Jesus and Mary, but that “they
value the moral life.” Likewise, <span style="background-color:rgb(208,224,227)"><b>numerous Catholic writers have made the
case that Muslims are our natural allies in the culture wars because
they oppose <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)">abortion, adultery, and pornograph</span>y, and value modesty and
chastity.</b></span></p>
<p><span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,255)">To be sure, many Muslims families, especially in the U.S., don’t seem
that different from Christian families. They pray regularly, attend
weekly services, give to charities, and raise polite children. A</span>s a
result it’s easy to conclude that Islamic family values and Christian
family values are essentially the same. But <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><b>in reality,</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>there is a world
of difference between <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">the two</span></b></span>. <span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,255)">To get a better picture of Islamic
family values, it’s advisable to look at Muslim countries or at those
parts of the West that are rapidly falling under Islamic influence.</span></p>
<p>Take Great Britain. A <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5010691/Website-Muslims-second-wife-100k-users.html" rel="noopener" target="_blank">new UK website</a>
designed to help Muslim men find second wives has more than 100,000
users. And it’s estimated tha<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>t there are already as many as 20,000
polygamous marriages among British Muslims. </b></span>In addition to polygamy
there are<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> many other practices</b></span> that one would be hard pressed to find in
Christian families: tens of thousands of cases of<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> female genital
mutilation</b></span>, <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>forced marriages to first cousins</b></span>, and <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>women shrouded in
burqas.</b></span></p>
<p>But let’s focus on<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> polygamy.</b></span> It’s not simply an incidental item that
happens to be found in Arab cultures, rather<span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><b> it’s <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)">a central element in
the Islamic system.</span></b></span> The practice is completely<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> in accord with sharia law
and with the Koran.</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(208,224,227)"><b>In the Koran, Muslim men are allowed up to four
wives at one time. </b><b>Muhammad, however, received a special revelation from
Allah permitting him to have as many wives as he wanted. </b></span>Since Muhammad
is considered the perfect man, and the model of proper conduct, there
is no theological ground for opposing polygamy. Of course, a great many
Muslim men don’t practice polygamy, but that’s not because the practice
is considered improper, it’s because many men can’t afford to support
more than one wife. But it’s always a possibility. The standard Egyptian
marriage contract contains spaces for the husband to fill in the names
of wives number one, two, and three, just in case.</p>
<p><span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>Christianity introduced a revolution in the relationship between men
and women.</b></span> It erased the inequality between the sexes that practices
such as polygamy reinforced.<span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b> And it raised marriage between one man and
one woman to the level of a sacrament. </b><b>Under the influence of
Christianity,</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>polygamy</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>became unlawfu</b></span><b>l </b>in the West and in many other
parts of the world as well. On the other hand, the faith that Muhammad
introduced retained and reinforced the practice by giving it a religious
sanction. Moreover, polygamy is no mere relic of the past. With the
modern day resurgence of Islam, the practice is spreading. A Western
convert to Islam can be suddenly transported back to a time when a man
could rule his household much as a caliph ruled his harem.</p>
<p><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>Why did Muhammad reject</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>the Christian vision of marriage?</b></span> A
theologian might trace it back to his rejection of the Trinity. Just as
the Incarnation elevates our understanding of man, the doctrine of the
Trinity elevates our understanding of marriage and family. <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>The shared
love between the three persons of the Trinity becomes the model for
marriage and family. </b></span>But <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>there is no</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>such heavenly model</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>in Islam</b></span>. <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>In
Muhammad’s book, Allah is a solitary <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">God</span> and must remain so. </b></span>Thus:</p>
<p style="padding-left:30px">So believe in God and His apostles and do not say “three”… God is but one God. God forbid that He should have a Son!” (4: 171)</p>
<p>The Koran provides no theological basis for understanding marriage as
a one-man-one-woman proposition. But theology may not have been the
deciding factor. Muhammad may also have had personal motives for
preferring polygamy to monogamy. It is very possible that he simply did
not want to limit himself to one wife. Scholars of Islam designate <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>a
number of Muhammad’s revelations as “revelations of convenience”—that
is, revelations that worked to his personal advantage </b></span>or helped him to
resolve a family conflict. <span style="background-color:rgb(208,224,227)"><b>The revelation that allowed him to marry his
own daughter-in-law <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)">falls into that category</span>,</b></span> and so does the revelation
that permitted him to have an unlimited number of wives (and sex
slaves).</p>
<p>But there is yet<span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><b> a third motive that needs to be considered.</b></span> As
numerous scholars have noted,<span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,255)"><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> totalitarian systems look upon<span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"> the
traditional two-parent family</span> as a rival. </b></span>The fear is that family
loya</span>lty may take precedence over the “higher” loyalty that one owes to
the state. Tyrants know that the bonds of affection that develop in a
family may prove stronger than one’s allegiance to the ruling ideology,
or to Big Brother, or to Dear Leader.</p>
<p>This was certainly the case with Nazism. Through organizations such
as the Hitler Youth, the Nazis sought to transfer a child’s loyalty from
his parents to the state. Likewise, communists looked upon the
traditional family as nothing more than a reactionary holdover from the
days of bourgeois morality. Communists had no qualms about urging
children to act as informants on their parents, and in Stalinist Russia
one such informant—thirteen-year-old Pavlik Morozov—was elevated to the
status of a national hero.</p>
<p><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>As the modern secular state becomes increasingly totalitarian, it
also begins to look upon <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">the family</span> as a rival to its aim of achieving
complete control over<span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"> citizens. </span></b></span>Thus the state seeks through various
means to undermine the purpose of marriage (e.g., by promoting
abortions), and to disrupt the relationship between husband and wife
(e.g., by making women financially dependent on the state). Meanwhile,
the media—which often acts as an agent of the state– can be counted on
to extol unorthodox family arrangements. These days, sitcoms about
traditional families are as verboten as cigarette commercials.</p>
<p>It shouldn’t be surprising then that<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> Islam, which is a totalitarian
system par excellence, favors the polygamous family structure. </b><b>Through
sharia law, Islam seeks to control every aspect of<span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"> an individual’s life</span></b></span>.
As its advocates insist,<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> Islam is not just <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">a religion</span>, it is a complete
way of life.</b></span> Moreover,<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> it’s a purpose-driven life. It’s meant to be
lived in service to the ideology of jihad for the sake of Allah.</b></span> As
Nonie Darwish puts it in <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wholly-Different-Biblical-Values-Islamic-ebook/dp/B01N9XEWPH/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1509605926&sr=8-1" rel="noopener" target="_blank"><i>Wholly Different</i></a>,
“In Islam, after believing in Allah,<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> the number one priority for a
Muslim believer is not<span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"> family</span>; it is jihad.”</b></span> Consequently, “a man who is
devoted to his wife and children in a monogamous marriage is a threat
to jihad.”</p>
<p>Darwish argues that the Christian ideal of exclusive and permanent
loyalty between man and wife is at odds with the aims of Islam. Marriage
so conceived is a rival to the single-minded pursuit of jihad. But a
polygamous marriage is not. For one thing, <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>the <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">husband </span>has no obligation
to <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">remain loyal to <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">one</span> wife</span></span>. </b></span>Just as important, a polygamous family by
its very nature is riven with internal rivalries. It lacks the organic
unity which might allow it to stand as a rival to the ideology of jihad.</p>
<p>According to Darwish and other former Muslims, the structure of
polygamous families (combined with the knowledge that one’s monogamous
marriage can be suddenly transformed into a multiple one) makes for
divided loyalties and dysfunctional families. It pits wife against wife,
step-brother against step-brother, and mother-in-law, against
daughter-in-law.</p>
<p>In addition, <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>Islamic theology creates rivalries between a husband’s
<span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">current</span> wife/wives and his brides<span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">-to-be in paradise</span>.</b></span> In order to insure
that Muslim men will never be satisfied with their current wife or
wives, they are promised more polygamy with more desirable partners in
the next world. Of course<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>, the only sure fire way of securing brides in
paradise is by committing jihad for the sake of Allah</b></span>. Thus, as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wholly-Different-Biblical-Values-Islamic-ebook/dp/B01N9XEWPH/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1509605926&sr=8-1" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Darwish </a>puts it, “Islam has substituted love of jihad and martyrdom for love of family.”</p>
<p>A recent example of Darwish’s observation is provided by Sayfulla
Saipov,<span style="background-color:rgb(208,224,227)"><b> the jihadist who killed eight people on a New York City bike
path by running them down with a truck. Saipov is a family man, but only
in the most limited sense of the term. He has a wife and three
children, but he also had jihad on his mind. Unlike the ordinary soldier
who hopes to return from the battlefield to rejoin his wife and
children, this “soldier of ISIS” was intent on joining his brides in
paradise instead. </b></span><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>The promise of perfect wives in paradise tends to
weaken t<span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">he ties to</span> <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">one’s family here on earth</span>.</b></span> Moreover, as Muhammad
understood, such a promise is an efficient mechanism for insuring that
there will always be an abundant supply of recruits for the jihad.</p>
<p><span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>Not all Muslims <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)">are </span></b></span><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>so minded,</b></span> of course.<span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b> They are not interested</b></span><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> in
polygamy or jihad,</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>and they may have their doubts about </b></span><span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>the existence of
the 72 virgins.</b></span> Some Muslim marriages, as Darwish readily admits, “are
happy and successful.” <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>Some Muslims manage to rise above</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>ideology and to
ignore the misogynistic teachings of <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)">Islam.</span></b></span></p>
<p>Still, on the whole, Islamic family relation are far more
dysfunctional than Western citizens realize. <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>Polygamy is not the only
problem.</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>Child marriage is common, and so are forced marriages</b></span>. In Iran
and other Shia Muslim societies, temporary marriage (a form of
prostitution) is legal. And <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>91 percent of all <a href="http://www.meforum.org/2646/worldwide-trends-in-honor-killings" rel="noopener" target="_blank">honor violence</a> worldwide is committed by Muslims.</b></span></p>
<p>On that subject, Islamic law states that <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>there is no penalty for a
mother or father who kills their<span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"> child,</span> and no penalty for a grandmother
or grandfather who kills their <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">children’s children</span> </b></span>(<i>Reliance of the Traveller</i>,
o1.4). <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>Conversely, a child may kill <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">a parent</span> for the sake of honor.
Sons often take part in killing their mothers (or sisters) who have
jeopardized family honor in some way or other.</b></span> In <i>The Stoning of Soraya M</i>.—a
film based on a true story—the father and the son of an accused wife
and mother are the ones who throw the first stones. In the West Bank,
parents deliberately raise their children to become suicide bombers.
This also is for the sake of honor, because, as one might expect in a
system that revolves around jihad, great honor redounds to the parents
of martyrs.</p>
<p>If the Soviets and the Nazis encouraged children to betray their
parents, <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>the Islamic system teaches that any family member may be
sacrificed by any other family member for the sake of Allah and the
jihad.</b></span> Child against parent, parent against child, husband against wife,
brother against sister, wife against wife:<span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b> it’s a sinister system. And
it should not be compared to <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">the Christian family ideal.</span></b></span></p>
<p>It’s true, of course, that families in Western societies are often
troubled and destructive. But in the Christian and post-Christian world,
family dysfunction is not a function of Christian values. It’s a
departure from them. The troubles that afflict modern families are
largely the result of acting out the anti-Christian and anti-family
values of the secular society.</p>
<p><span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><b>Christians are far from</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>perfect</b></span>. <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><b>They are <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)">not</span></b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)"><b>immune to</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>folly or to
sin</b></span>. But Christian family values are no more like Islamic values than
they are like Nazi family values or Soviet family values. <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>Catholics who
draw a false equivalence between the two <span style="background-color:rgb(217,234,211)">decidedly different visions of
family life</span> represented by Islam and <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)">Christianity</span> </b></span>ought to know better.
And they <span style="background-color:rgb(255,242,204)"><b>ought to stop</b></span> <span style="background-color:rgb(234,209,220)"><b>doing it.</b></span></p>
<p><i>(Photo credit: Channel 4 television, UK)</i></p>
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